Insight

The other day, I was groaning. Literally, grumbling and groaning, with the realization that I was behind on my laundry, and my homework, and the whole seeing-my-fiance thing, and my housework. I find myself thinking harsh thoughts--thinking how inadequate I am, thinking how I need to get it together. I need to be perfect, in every way: I need a home cooked meal on the table every night, because Sky deserves that, after all of his hard work each day.  I need to be excelling in my classes, because to be quite honest, I've never done anything but over-achieve.  I need to have a spotless apartment, because that's how my mother's house is.  I need to have my laundry done, all of the time, crisply folded and hanging color-coded, because that is what adults do.  Adults get their crap together and somehow fit everything in to each day.
& then a thought came into my head.  A thought, which I took as an answer:

"I might not have it all together, but that doesn't mean I'm falling apart."

It's ok if sometimes I don't have everything right on track; the reality is that I don't know any other 21 year old who is balancing everything that I am. I am doing ok. I can do this. I am blessed.

Life is good, and I'm happy.

Just in case you'd somehow forgotten...

I love you so much. Yesterday, today, and for every tomorrow.

Fall 12 Semester

Can I just start by saying how incredible my life is?! I'm so, so blessed. Skyler (finally!!) moved here, we're making progress on wedding planning (ok, that was a mild lie.) and I get to finally just be with him! Hooray!
Seriously, I got a little crazy the last two weeks of being apart. I was working 45+ hours a week, and trying to get all sorts of ending/apartment stuffs done and it just was.not.happening. The man shows up, I continue working and add school onto my list of things to do, and somehow everything falls together. Faith, people. It's faith.
For example, when we were long distance I got a little crazy about the fact that I hadn't kissed my fiancé in two months, and just yesterday, Skyler said, "You don't kiss me enough." (& his comment was valid. It was like 4 pm and I hadn't kissed him once all day. Whoops!)  Our "problems" have changed, but everything is just so perfect.
& I know what you're thinking.... Honeymoon stage... But, to clarify that is inaccurate....
Example 1: Last night my hip hurt so so bad (Spin class. Hip flexors, it sucks.) so I put on my polar bear fuzzy pjs at 4. And whined the entirety of the afternoon. I couldnt even get myself in the car. Skyler called me an invalid.  Not very honeymoon-like. ;) Example 2: Last night, I was cleaning my bathroom and noticed, like, 2 hairs in my shower drain. Trying to be a big girl, I pulled on them. Bad idea. Off came my drain plug-thing (very technical term, I know.) and there was what I have now begun referring to as a ferret-sized hair clob. Auggggggh!!! Totally Sky's job. And he did it! (meanwhile, I sat on the kitchen floor literally gagging and dry heaving while he screamed at me that I'd better not puke.)
Obviously, my life is still awkward, but the other half of my "us" is absolutely fantastic and such a trooper through all of my crazy ideas and moments. 

I other news, I just began my semester and have no free time, yet just took on an Honors Program personal study where I'll be working in the schools with math students. It should be pretty bomb. I just lined it all up with my professor this morning and I am way, way excited!! I've missed my kiddos.
My classes are all ok, and being in math has once again reminded me of how big of a loser I am. In math, he was reading us all of these tricky story problems and I was whipping out the answers. For those of you who don't know, I love math (& school in general) and am a total nerd about it. As in, last night I looked up math problems online and did them. For fun. This semester should be great. 
I'm incredibly happy, incredibly blessed, and so so excited about this new chapter in my life! Sorry that this blog post was long and rambling with (once again) no pictures.
....I can't think of a way to end this, so I'll just go with a first grade ending and say....


The end.

dos dias.

two days from right now, i'm gonna be smoochin'. hahaahaha. okay, actually, if i'm as tired on thursday after my shift as i was today, i'll probably be snoozin'. either way, i will have my skyler here with me!!!
so, so blessed to be so, so in love with the best man in the whole-wide-world.

‎"What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy." --President Hinckley

Laugh.

This & That

So, in case you couldn't tell by my past twelve thousand blog entries/my semi-obnoxious, ohmygoshI'mgettingmarried Facebook statuses, I'M FREAKING GETTING MARRIED! Really. Alison, the queen of never-going-to-two-high-school-dances-with-the-same-boy-because-I-got-bored-too-fast*. It's not that I dated a lot, really. In fact, usually after one or two dates, I would think, "This guy's way too boring for me. Where's the surprise?! Where's the belly-laughs?" & was totally over it. & yet, I found my other half. My perfect, wonderful other half. & the best part? I get forever & ever with him!

[*We'll come back to that (^) subject later.]
That's right, folks. I found someone who never fails to surprise me, with his personality. Sky is hilarious, and totally gets me. (For instance, when I "write" a song, to the tune of "Coins In My Hands", he acts like this is totally normal behavior. & lets me sing it to him. A lot. NBD; & since I know you're now dieing to hear that song, enjoy!)

Please excuse my ADHD, where was I? Ahem...

So. He makes me belly laugh at least a bajillion times a day, and is totally up to playing "Pteradactyl" for 30 minutes via Skype and doesn't even think twice about it. He is absolutely perfect for me and can always tell exactly what I'm thinking. He is responsible and has goals and dreams and supports mine as well. Oh, and did I mention that he's freakin' gorgeous? Evidence:

Yep. He's pretty ridiculously hot. I know. (Someday, ten years from now, when we have kids, they'd better take after Daddy & skip my albino genes.)

However, I would like to point out how completely unfair it is, for me to come into this relationship. ;) 

His mom makes dessert (seriously) every day. Every day. Did you all read that?! Every. Freaking. Day. (Seriously, I was there for a week and a half and had more dessert than I had the past year, easily. Oh, and they have "Sunday dinner." I'm not sure if this is a Morm thing, but it = Alison cooking a "real" meal on Sunday, when I rather like going home and putting on jammies and eating popcorn for dinner. Don't judge.) He has lived with her for 20 of his 22 years. AKA--Skyler loves dessert. & I'll be honest, some days, just getting supper cooked is a bit of a stretch, let alone DESSERT! What the heck! (So if anyone has any fast, easy, delish dessert ideas, shoot 'em this way. Now's when the panic sets in!) When I brainstormed "desserts" I came up with (I know, I'm awesome..) cookies. Not even like, mix flour & sugar & chocolate chips type of cookies, but like store-bought, Nestle Toll House, already evenly sized cookies that you just plop on a pan. Something tells me he's going to be missin' home, real fast. :D

Pretty sure she's been plotting that, the past 22 years... :P (Totally kidding.)

Coming back to the * subject from earlier, I just had to tell this story, because it's freaking hilarious. High school dances.

So, recently, a friend of mine posted an old picture from a high school dance, that I went to with a guy from work. First, I want to be clear... he asked me about going with me. I didn't, like, beg him to go, or something.

When we got there, he ditched me to "hang out" with his friends. AKA, sit on the stairs, not dancing. WHAT?! Let's just get this straight, I am a FUN girl. I LOVE DANCES. & I can sure-as-heck shake my booty. Boys don't ditch me. ESPECIALLY not to dance with another girl, like, once, and then sit on the steps. They just don't.

So, naturally, we were all talking about how lame that experience was. & then another girl commented on the picture to inform me that...

He's becoming a Catholic priest.

It's all so much clearer now... Not really into the whole dancing-with-girls thing. I can stop taking it personally. :) Although, I've got to admit, I'm hoping this subject doesn't come up on Judgement Day. ;)

That's really all I have to say, for now. Please excuse my ADHD-blog-style, but the whole organization thing just never seems to happen.

I'll end the post with some engagements. (& can I just say that I freakin' love our photographer?! She's an old friend of Skyler's and she's super easy to work with, and I'm in love with the pictures she took!)