you & i

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud4TVZSt754&feature=related

one of my favorite songs & i loooove their cover. gorg harmonies.

Dear Elder...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npe-RwInkTU


"Dear Elder,
Remember that one time I blew you off & I told you I didn't care what you had to say? Or that one time, you gave me a Book of Mormon & I promise you I would never read it? & the several weeks I told you, "What? This Sunday? I think I'm busy..." & I'll never forget the time that you asked me to pray, and I laughed for ten minutes straight and then just called you silly...


Dear Elder,
Do you remember when I showed  you my scriptures and it was covered in highlighter, and when I started to call you to make the appointments? Do you remember that phone call when I described my whole closet to you, upset I didn't own a single skirt or dress?


Elder,
Do you remember when you taught me how to talk to my Father in Heaven? How I just tried to describe this indescribable happiness I was feeling that has not gone away and continues to grow...
Remember all the times when I overcame, conquered, progressed; When I was doing things I never thought I could do. Or when I called  you, at four in the morning, telling you I wanted to get baptized? When you put your hands on my head to receive the greatest gift I could ever receive, ever? Elder, do you remember when you showed me a better way of living? Do you remember when I started to become the person Heavenly Father has wanted me to become, all along?


....


Dear Elder,
Thank you. Thank you for what you are doing. Thank you for your example, for the Spirit you always have, for your prayers, and for all of your sacrifices; for pushing through any insecurities or struggles you may have.
Someone just as scared as you may be saved my life.
Do not give up, do not get discouraged, keep going.
What you are doing does make a difference. This is so real.
I am here because of it.


I am one of those rescued."


I am in love with this video.
In love.
What a beautiful soul; a beautiful testimony.


I don't know how she possibly picked what to say, and what to leave out.
If I wrote one, parts would be eerily similar. The closet--totally had that experience! (Except, mine was more of a "I have nothing that covers me" not "I have no dresses" experience. Hahaha. But seriously, he could probably tell you half of the clothes I own, I told him so often. Every Saturday was a battle, trying to figure out what to wear on Sunday. He heard all about it.) I will admit I laughed when he would ask me to pray or read my scriptures. There was no way I was going to do that. I had set my little stubborn mind against it.  I was not going to be Mormon. Heck no.
...& look at me now. Some days I'm "so Mormon" it scares even me. ;)


Dear Elder,
Remember when I was never, ever, no-matter-what going to be a Mormon? Remember when I wanted nothing to do with the church? Remember when the last thing I wanted to hear was that Heavenly Father loved me? And do you remember how that was the most important thing in the world for me to learn?
Do you remember how I would argue with you? How I would ask why things were the way they are, over and over? How I would insist you were wrong, but never felt like I was right? Do you remember how you taught me to pray? How you taught me to talk to Him, and know that He was listening?
Remember that first time, when you "tricked" me into taking those lessons? When you called me, during my naptime, and I answered the phone not realizing it was you? Remember when I was never going to take those lessons, and He had a different plan? Remember when you stuck to His plan, over and over?
Do you remember every time you held your tongue, when I was so frustrating? And do you remember how much I needed your blunt comments, at times?  Remember how much you hated my "stupid booty shorts"? And how ticked I was that you said that? Remember how you taught me to be a lady?
Do you remember that night, when I told you every reason I would never be a member of this church? Do you remember how I told you you were wasting two years of your life--how what you were doing didn't matter? & do you remember, that next morning, when you gave me a lesson--the lesson?
Because I could never forget; I will never forget. I was wrong, and He is right. Thank you, for teaching me that, no matter how exhausted you were.
Do you remember, when you baptized me? Do you remember, when you gave that talk right before? Remember how the room felt--how strong it was? Do you remember the moment you changed my life, forever? Do you realize what that means to me? Do you know how happy I am it was you, in that water with me?
Thank you for answering my questions, month after month. Thank you for teaching and re-teaching those lessons. For pushing me, without being pushy. For never allowing me to be a number. And for loving me when you (really, really) wanted to strangle me; thank you for always, always showing me His love.
Thank you for saving my life. For turning me around. Thank you for helping me realize my potential. Thank you for loving me, when I fall short of that potential time and time again. Thank you for always having faith that I'll get there, and for always encouraging me.
& thank you, for being my Elder, my role model, my friend, and my big brother.

prettypretty please hurry the h up.

If the children don’t get a bit calmer, soon, I might pull every single strand of my hair out. They were that crazy, today. I know they’re only 6 & 7 years old. But today I wanted to say, “Listen, babes. I know this means nothing to your brains but IT IS FINALS WEEK. & I’m stressed the freak out! So please be angels today.” Over. & over. & over.

Examples of my day:

During the math sing-along Boy #1 was being COMPLETELY obnoxious. After a thousand and six warnings, I sent him to the safe seat (aka timeout).  He continued being absolutely out of control. So I took the chair away from him, and had him sit on the floor. & (Teacher of the Year Award) forgot him there, for longer than I’m willing to publicly admit. Oopsies! I completely got sidetracked and just forgot I’d left him there. More on this later.

During writing centers, one boy colored his entire pant leg with marker (let’s hope his momma has some good stain remover).  & then lied to me and said it was an accident. An accident that was, by the way, in the form of stars all over his pant leg. Poor little guy—I hate when markers have a mind of their own and accidentally draw stars all over my pants. That’s the pits. Safe seat #2 of the day.

We also had a little potty mouth in the classroom today. & for those of you who know me well, you know I think that bad words are hilarious. I just do. Terrible habit. You have no idea how hard it is for me not to laugh when his little six-year-old tongue spits out “holy shhh…”  You have no idea how much harder it is to keep a straight face when I remind that we need to use school-appropriate language that doesn’t hurt Miss Davis’ ears.

I also had a ten minute debate with a first grader. Please tell me if I’m incorrect. ;)  We were working on rhyming words.  She needed to think of a word that rhymes with “stop” and write it.” I suggested “hop” and “mop.”  She said, “No, octopus.”  We then debated for ten minutes about what a rhyme was.  She told me words that rhymed with at least 10 other words: “Had?” “Dad.” Etc.  We came back to it.  “What rhymes with stop?”  *GIANT pause* “OCTOPUS!” I surrendered and said, “Let’s just skip that one.”

I’m not a teacher… I’m a mother. Seriously. Today I washed two faces, put hair up in a ponytail, tied shoes, gave out snacks, said “Blow your nose, sweetheart” at least a thousand times, gave a jillion high fives, reminded about inside voices and kind words and being a good friend, and scratched plenty of backs while they worked.

& in some ways, I am like, “Holy cow, I can’t be a mother for a long time. This is so stressful!” & in others, it makes me realize that I want that more than anything.  I love those kiddos.

Some days are just killers.  Some days I want to pull my hair out and cry.  But there are those teensy victories, that make me love the job more than anything.

--Awesome standard scores

--Boy #1 (who I forgot in timeout) gave me a hug, and apologized for his “un-apwop-wee-ut” behavior.  My heart melted a little, and I forgave him in 3 seconds flat.

--Getting a colored picture from one of the kiddos today. My fridge is covered in artwork. & I love it.

--Being told, “I wish I had a shirt just like yours.” From a boy.

--The children were def all medicated today. (Pretty unusual. We’ve usually got several who “forgot” to take their pill.) Blessings.

--“What’s your FAVORITE type of cake??” *pause* “Dragon cake.” (Isn’t that everyone’s?)

--Hugs. Ohh, hugs. I don’t mind that my pants & shirt have weird snot streaks on them. It happens. But those little hugs are the best.

--The kids all think I’m bomb because I do “magic” ties when I tie their shoes and (gasp) THEY DON’T COME UNTIED. (Aka…double knot. Hahaha. It sounds cooler that they’ve all coined them “Miss Davis’ Magic Ties”)

Love my job. Love my life. Time for Christmas break, yo.

Bind my wandering heart to Thee

"bind my wandering heart to Thee / prone to wander, Lord, i feel it / prone to leave the God i love / here's my heart, oh, take and seal it..."
ohh, i love this song. someone just introduced me to it this week and i've listened to it a jillion and twelve times; love his voice, love the lyrics, love the message. <3


today i'm lovin' the fact that i went to my final & successfully played a hymn. bam. Heavenly Father was definitely lookin' out for me there. hahaha.


i'm also loving that my professor awkwardly said, "umm... you have something on your dress..."
(me, frantically looking down, & seeing dried snot all over my cute black dress.)
"ohh... gosh... --i mumble something about the kids and how they're constantly wiping their hands all over me--"
"oh... i didn't realize you had children. how old are they?"


...awkward giant explanation of why i have boogers all over me.
next lesson: using a kleenex, not our hands. & if we use our hands, we wipe it on ourselves not on Miss Davis' pretty dress. sigh.
gotta love my job.


ok, well... time to pretend i care about school!
only a few more days....

--the babes

ok, i'm having a proud momma bragging moment.
the kiddos all did SO SO good on their standards! ahhh!! i've never been so proud of them. day one was a success--hopefully tomorrow goes just as great. :)
--i love my job.

kelly clarkson type of day...

nothing's real until you let go completely; so here i go with all my thoughts i've been saving; so here i go, with all my fears weighing on me.
& i don't know, i could crash & burn but maybe at the end of this road, i might catch a glimpse of me; so i won't worry bout my timing, i want to get it right; no comparing, second guessing, no, not this time. three months, & i'm still breathing. been a long road since those hands i left my tears in. <3 

if we are with Him, we're there.

‎"So many Christians are childish – in the back seat, whining and complaining to the Father: “Are we there yet? Why aren’t we there? What’s going on?” And the Father says, “My son, my daughter, can you be quiet and enjoy the ride? I’m doing good things in your life. Can you stop worrying and just enjoy My company? Can you open your eyes to where you are and see the beauty of where I have you right now?” God wants you to enjoy the ride. And He Himself is the destination anyway. So there’s no sense in asking, “Are we there yet?” [because if we are with Him, we’re there.]" ♥


I know, I know. I'm the-worst-ever about getting impatient & trying to figure out "what He wants' from me.
This week I will work on enjoying the ride. I will work on me.


Grateful List:
--a boyfriend who is kind & truthful & understanding & way too good for me; one who makes me laugh so hard & really, really gets me. one who is patient with my impatience & encourages me; one who expects my very best & gives me his.
--a lazy day. i had a giant list of things to get done today. i literally didn't check a single thing off my list. but do you know what? i feel a thousand times better.
--yummy supper & good company
--the semester being soooo close to being over.
--getting a mani; & getting cute little christmasy designs painted on said nails.
--church tomorrow; ohh, thank.freakin'.goodness.for.the.gospel.


<3 

that awkward moment when someone misses the memo that you were joking?

[please read this, keeping in mind the fact that i'm a very sarcastic person]

so. funny story:

my bff gabe? yeah. sometimes rand-o girls fall in love with him. & flirt publicly with him. & it's fun. i like to remind them all that i'm the only woman he needs in his life. [besides his mom. i guess he can keep her around. i gueeeess...]

so anyway. saw this post on his facebook. and commented COMPLETELY sarcastically. & the girl got legitimately angry! hilarious.

don't worry, i played along. & kept the conversation flowing.

i feel like i made a new friend? we're prob-skies gonna hang out soon.

#girlsareweird 
#iwaskiddingsweetheart 
#chilltheeffout?