peace

That awkward moment when you're informed how much you've sucked for the past year.
That blessed moment when you know they aren't right, and you just feel at peace.

Us Against Them

I'm worn out, with that mentality.  With this "us against them" thinking. Mostly because I'm not sure who everyone is classifying as "us" and who is "them."  If I'm defining it the way I feel most people think of it, maybe I'm both.  Maybe I'm an us, for the past two years, and a them at my core.  Maybe I am a "halfsie" like it's been said.  Maybe I'm only part "us."

Maybe that's true. Maybe I'm mistaken.
But I think the reality is that every person on this Earth today is an "us."  That "they"--the third--lost; that we're left with Satan's influence, but that each of us, at one point or another, chose Heavenly Father.  No matter how much we screw up here on Earth, we chose Him.  We chose this experience.  We chose this life--this plan.
It just takes some of us a little longer to remember we're part of the "us."  It takes some of us a little longer to remember how much we, at one point, loved the plan.
Maybe the truth is that it took me those nineteen years to remember that I love the Lord, and that I am here to grow and to glorify His name.
But I don't feel that makes me weak.  I don't see that as a flaw. I don't see being a so-called "convert" as an awful thing at all.
I learned. I grew. It makes me fight harder. It brought wonderful people into my life. It taught me self-discipline, and how to be independent. & every single day, it blesses me more and more.  Through every challenge, I learn how to better love His people.
I was an "us" all along.  I just forgot to live that way, for my first few years.
& remembering has made me stronger.

I believe in Christ.  I believe that Jesus Christ came to Earth to have this mortal experience, knowing exactly what He needed to do to save me from myself.  I believe that He chose to suffer excruciatingly so that our sins can be washed clean and so when we face trials, the Atonement can make our burdens light.  I know that He loves me, personally.  I know that Heavenly Father wants each of us to return to Him.
& I believe that it is our duty to help our brothers and sisters return to Him, as well.  If we are not working on them, as well as ourselves, we are not doing enough.

My name is Alison, and I'm a convert.
& I don't understand that statement, because I chose Him long before I came to this Earth.  I don't understand how July 17th makes me a "convert" in your eyes.

But I think you've got it all wrong.
& I'm trying my hardest to love you anyway.

boo.

I miss the boy.
There, I said it.
I miss him and I'm so tired of long distance. It's been a rough few months.
Please make August hurry up? Why not just skip summer??
[Ok, I'm done whining now]
<3 

Testimony Love.

This church is real. This Gospel is true.

& I am incredibly blessed. We are all so, so incredibly blessed.

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is how we all chose to be here. How we're all in this together.

Let's just be together, & just love. All of us. Not a few. Not some. All.


I found this testimony tonight. I can't tell you what this means to me. I can't explain how important this is to me. How much it means. It makes me wonder how many people would give up on him--on the average Joe--on me.  It makes me remember how blessed I was to get Todd that day, and how blessed I am to be living this Gospel. It makes me remember my second chance. Almost two years ago, I made the best decision of my life.
So blessed. So happy. So grateful.
So ready for what's next.


"Every saint has a past, & every sinner has a future."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDgpG3Wj81c&context=C4998c96ADvjVQa1PpcFNLI7kecasyyrb7emFpS0_KReKUjqru6Zw=

"Girls, aim high. But do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy."

--President Gordon B. Hinckley

Got it, President Hinckley. Legit, I've got it--got him. This is where I tell you all how amazing of a man I have... how I'm the luckiest girl in the world, and how blessed I know I am.

In 6 1/2 weeks, I get to go see him for 1 1/2 weeks. & I absolutely can not wait.

In August, he's moving here! Yes, to the middle-of-nowhere. To a fly-over state. To be a Husker fan, once and for all. To be with me.

& I could not be happier. I could not be more blessed. I am so happy that he is such a good person--that he is so good for me.

I'm just so happy.

I'll stop being mushy now. But life is changing, and I love it. I love him.

Blessed.

don't judge me because i sin differently than you.

"This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following:

Stop it!

It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.”

We must recognize that we are all imperfect—that we are beggars before God. Haven’t we all, at one time or another, meekly approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? Haven’t we wished with all the energy of our souls for mercy—to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed?" --President Uchtdorf

I will work on being kind; on loving others like I want to be loved--on loving others like He loves me. <3