awkward.
--when my prayers sound a little something like this: "please, God, just let me be a lesbian. or a cat lady. i know you think i'm kidding, but this time i'm really not..." & then going in depth about what type of cats i would like. since i didn't feel God was gonna grant my lesbian request. yes, all of this in my prayer.
--reading all of these awesome blogs from these awesome moms & how they quilt & can & do cute motherly things. [& then realizing how completelely incapable i am of doing female things.]
--cursing under your breath. in three languages. super classy.
--"convert." there are very few words that get under my skin so quickly. that is one of them. & don't worry, it's used all the time by people in my life. if you're not a convert, then you don't have a testimony. we all convert. just at different times & in different ways. so, actually, you can just say i'm a member. or, hey, ya know... maybe just not label people at all? that'd be pretty neat...
--i know this makes my list EVERY time, but boys. just boys in general. awkward.
--when the man on campus says you'll burn in hell if you a] don't wear a bonnet & long dress, b] shop at victoria's secret, c] kiss boys, d] are a mormon... the list goes on. basically, i'm gonna be torched, according to his rulebook. [good think God is the one who judges me, huh?]
--packing everything. again. this is pretty much my life routine every couple of months. [s]uck.
--when you mean to call someone [person 1], to tell them all about how obnoxious someone else [person 2] is being. & accidentally dial person 2's number. hahaha. smooth, alison. smooth.
--foaming toothpaste. i bought some. & if you think it's a good idea, you're mistaken. don't buy it. it's pretty sicknast.
--3 of 'em in 3 months. no worries. i'm not "keeper" material.
awesome.
--four dr pepper cans on my desk. totally not an addict. [the first step is admitting it. if i don't admit it, it doesn't exist, right??]
--when my mom emails me the following: "HOW RUDE!!!!!! Baby Jesus just told Santa to take away ALL your gifts!!!!!!!"
--general conference weekend! :) [not that i'll actually watch it this weekend...but it's the thought that counts...]
--life. life is awesome. how often do i forget to say that?! [i'm so blessed.]
--lots of bigbrother-ish boys, who take care of me. & who are, for the most part, ridiculously blunt. because really, that's what i need in life... people who say "look, this is how it is. figure your crap out." [or, ya know "i hate your stupid booty shorts." either one works. ;)]
--proactive vs reactive "lecture" this week. & knowing how badly i needed it. [thanks!]
--my new job. LOVE it.
--getting all of my homework, laundry, and dishes done. [not that i actually did. it just WOULD be awesome if that occured.]
happy weekend, loves. xo.
9.30.2011
9.28.2011
futurehusbandrequirements
yeah. that's right. i legit have a list going. some of it's forreal. some of it's half-joking. & yes i add to this list often.
[ps, please don't feel obligated to tell me i shouldn't have a list of requirements for a future hubby. "if he's right for you, you'll know, without a list." and/or "it's not fair to hold the boys you date to such high standards." yeah, yeah, okay. but i'm still making a list. :)]
my future husband...
[in no particular order.]
--honors his priesthood.
--"gets" my crazy. some days are wild laughter & shrieking & super-excited jump up & down kinds of days. i need someone who not only accepts that, but loves that about me.
--loves me to pieces.--doesn't mind if i make him check [& re-check] my backseat, under the bed, in the closet, and in the shower for ax murderers.
--doesn't expect from-scratch bread and cookies, with a five-course meal, every day. & by golly, if/when i do all of that, he tells me a thousand times how awesome it is.
--lets me snuggle next to him during scary movies.
--understands that yoga pants are praaaactically considered dressing up. because they're not paint-stained sweatpants. [& he tells me how awesome my butt looks in them.]
--can change my oil, and check all that manly stuff under the hood.
--only rolls his eyes a little at how many freakin' pictures i take.
--pushes my hair out of my face & wipes tears off my cheeks. necessities.
--kisses my forehead.
--ok, & i guess he can like steamy makeout sesh-es, too.
--is a hard worker.
--knows that being a girl doesn't mean being helpless, & lets me [at least pretend to] help on boy projects.
--has goals.
--wants babies. but not in the reproduce-like-rabbits type of way. a handful or less will do.
--goes to church on Sunday, reads his scriptures, magnifies his calling[s], has family prayer & fhe, etc.
--is a gentleman
--is always nice to waitresses, customer service people, etc.
--knows when i need to ramble. & lets me.
--supports me in my goals.
--believes in tickle fights & wrestling. [& lets me win once in a while.]
--tells me i'm pretty. & means it.
--is gentle.
--is proud of me.
--teases me. [fact: i think being teased is hilarious. some girls get bent out of shape but i think it's so fun when a guy can dish it out as quickly as i can.]
--has high moral standards and expectations.
--admits when he's wrong.
--lets me be a little sassy & sarcastic sometimes. & knows how to be a little sassy back.
--leaves me little surprise love notes. buys me flowers once in a while just-because. does the whole cliche romantic crap, from time to time.
--rubs my feet, back, arms, & legs. & only whines a little.
--loves his family.
disclaimer: applications are not currently being accepted. ;)
[ps, please don't feel obligated to tell me i shouldn't have a list of requirements for a future hubby. "if he's right for you, you'll know, without a list." and/or "it's not fair to hold the boys you date to such high standards." yeah, yeah, okay. but i'm still making a list. :)]
my future husband...
[in no particular order.]
--honors his priesthood.
--"gets" my crazy. some days are wild laughter & shrieking & super-excited jump up & down kinds of days. i need someone who not only accepts that, but loves that about me.
--loves me to pieces.--doesn't mind if i make him check [& re-check] my backseat, under the bed, in the closet, and in the shower for ax murderers.
--doesn't expect from-scratch bread and cookies, with a five-course meal, every day. & by golly, if/when i do all of that, he tells me a thousand times how awesome it is.
--lets me snuggle next to him during scary movies.
--understands that yoga pants are praaaactically considered dressing up. because they're not paint-stained sweatpants. [& he tells me how awesome my butt looks in them.]
--can change my oil, and check all that manly stuff under the hood.
--only rolls his eyes a little at how many freakin' pictures i take.
--pushes my hair out of my face & wipes tears off my cheeks. necessities.
--kisses my forehead.
--ok, & i guess he can like steamy makeout sesh-es, too.
--is a hard worker.
--knows that being a girl doesn't mean being helpless, & lets me [at least pretend to] help on boy projects.
--has goals.
--wants babies. but not in the reproduce-like-rabbits type of way. a handful or less will do.
--goes to church on Sunday, reads his scriptures, magnifies his calling[s], has family prayer & fhe, etc.
--is a gentleman
--is always nice to waitresses, customer service people, etc.
--knows when i need to ramble. & lets me.
--supports me in my goals.
--believes in tickle fights & wrestling. [& lets me win once in a while.]
--tells me i'm pretty. & means it.
--is gentle.
--is proud of me.
--teases me. [fact: i think being teased is hilarious. some girls get bent out of shape but i think it's so fun when a guy can dish it out as quickly as i can.]
--has high moral standards and expectations.
--admits when he's wrong.
--lets me be a little sassy & sarcastic sometimes. & knows how to be a little sassy back.
--leaves me little surprise love notes. buys me flowers once in a while just-because. does the whole cliche romantic crap, from time to time.
--rubs my feet, back, arms, & legs. & only whines a little.
--loves his family.
disclaimer: applications are not currently being accepted. ;)
9.27.2011
scratch that plan...
i know i promised uplifting talks from our apostles and leaders. i know i promised a week of happy-happy.
but today just wasn't that type of day, i guess.
it still surprises me that every single time, right when i start to get comfy, that the rug gets pulled out from under me. it still somehow shocks me that when i start to pull it all together, it all unravels so quickly. i still find myself walking in circles some days. that's the truth-- that i'm not always sure which way to go or if i should just stand still for a minute.
& tonight has been one of those typical alison types of nights. those ones where i say how "fine" i am and get little miss toughgirl back out and instantly i find those walls. it's hard not to be frustrated. it's hard not to be angry. it's hard not to be abso-freakin-lutely terrified.
& i think that today i have been reminded that some days, i'm going to be asked to
fight like hell.
& that's not a terrible thing. i'm certain some day i will appreciate the knowledge i gain from these trials.
chin up. head high. tomorrow i will be positive & tell you everything i'm grateful for & remember who i am and who i'm growing into. i will be happy that i have trials & i will be stronger & i will smile too much & it will all be ok.
but as for now, i'm just going to go sink into bed with my scriptures & try to find the words i'm craving, whatever they may be.
[please don't ask me when this became instinct--please don't ask me when i started relying on those outloud, pour-out-my-heart prayers or read-my-scriptures-until-my-eyes-won't-stay-open types of nights. but thank goodness for the boys who showed me their wonderful example & taught me to rely on Him. thank goodness for hope.]
but today just wasn't that type of day, i guess.
it still surprises me that every single time, right when i start to get comfy, that the rug gets pulled out from under me. it still somehow shocks me that when i start to pull it all together, it all unravels so quickly. i still find myself walking in circles some days. that's the truth-- that i'm not always sure which way to go or if i should just stand still for a minute.
& tonight has been one of those typical alison types of nights. those ones where i say how "fine" i am and get little miss toughgirl back out and instantly i find those walls. it's hard not to be frustrated. it's hard not to be angry. it's hard not to be abso-freakin-lutely terrified.
& i think that today i have been reminded that some days, i'm going to be asked to
fight like hell.
& that's not a terrible thing. i'm certain some day i will appreciate the knowledge i gain from these trials.
chin up. head high. tomorrow i will be positive & tell you everything i'm grateful for & remember who i am and who i'm growing into. i will be happy that i have trials & i will be stronger & i will smile too much & it will all be ok.
but as for now, i'm just going to go sink into bed with my scriptures & try to find the words i'm craving, whatever they may be.
[please don't ask me when this became instinct--please don't ask me when i started relying on those outloud, pour-out-my-heart prayers or read-my-scriptures-until-my-eyes-won't-stay-open types of nights. but thank goodness for the boys who showed me their wonderful example & taught me to rely on Him. thank goodness for hope.]
9.26.2011
--grateful.
grateful list :)
--the Gospel. [this week has def been a reminder of how blessed i am]
--the fam. i haven't been home since right after school started, but it is nice to know that they support me & want me to be happy & to find my own version of happy.
--apple juice boxes. yummm.
--missionary work. as much as i roll my eyes & grumble at times, it is amazing what they do for people's lives. yesterday i had the opportunity to go on team ups with them. it's encouraging to me to know that this Gospel is alive. that He is alive. [& of course i had the best missionary ever, not gonna lie. absolutely perfect for me.]
--having a job. paychecks were becoming super necessary.
--the semester is almost half over. :) [yayayaayayyy!!]
--nike. i don't know what other people wear, but i pretty much live in their shorts.
--getting my nails done. [thanks, tony!]
--the Gospel. [this week has def been a reminder of how blessed i am]
--the fam. i haven't been home since right after school started, but it is nice to know that they support me & want me to be happy & to find my own version of happy.
--apple juice boxes. yummm.
--missionary work. as much as i roll my eyes & grumble at times, it is amazing what they do for people's lives. yesterday i had the opportunity to go on team ups with them. it's encouraging to me to know that this Gospel is alive. that He is alive. [& of course i had the best missionary ever, not gonna lie. absolutely perfect for me.]
--having a job. paychecks were becoming super necessary.
--the semester is almost half over. :) [yayayaayayyy!!]
--nike. i don't know what other people wear, but i pretty much live in their shorts.
--getting my nails done. [thanks, tony!]
9.25.2011
{forget-me-not}
http://lds.org/general-conference/watch/2011/10?lang=eng&vid=1180453706001&cid=7
[^That is the link to the talk I fell in love with last night.]
"God wants to help us to eventually turn all our weaknesses into strengths. But He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect. & if we stay on the path of discipleship ... one day we will. It's okay that you're not quite there yet. Keep working on it. But stop punishing yourself."
"These successes may seem tiny to you, and they may go unnoticed by others. But God notices them. & they are not small to him."
"Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don't close your eyes & hearts to the simple & elegant beauties of each day's ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life. The happiest people I know are not those that find their golden ticket. They are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover & treasure the beauty & sweetness of every day moments."
"You are not forgotten."
"No matter how dark your days may seem; No matter how insignificant you may feel; No matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love. Just think of it--you are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious being in the universe. You are loved by the King of infinite space & everlasting time. He who created & knows the stars knows you and your name. You are the daughters of his kingdom."
"God loves you, sisters, because you are his child. He loves you even though at times you may feel lonely & make mistakes. The love of God & the power of the restored gospel are redemptive & saving. If you will only allow his divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, & soften any sorrow."
I love that he says that it can soften any sorrow. He didn't say "it will end every sorrow." He said it can "soften any sorrow." I am grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel & the love of Christ. I'm grateful that I know I am a daughter of my loving Heavenly Father, and that He knows me personally. I am grateful that I am loved, when I am so far from deserving of His love.
I love this church. I love the principles I am taught, the feelings I have, the growth I have experienced, & the strength I have received because I choose to live according to the Gospel.
Good weekend.
I promise I will get back to blogging tomorrow, instead of going on and on about a talk, but my goodness, I loved it.
XO.
[^That is the link to the talk I fell in love with last night.]
"God wants to help us to eventually turn all our weaknesses into strengths. But He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect. & if we stay on the path of discipleship ... one day we will. It's okay that you're not quite there yet. Keep working on it. But stop punishing yourself."
"These successes may seem tiny to you, and they may go unnoticed by others. But God notices them. & they are not small to him."
"Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don't close your eyes & hearts to the simple & elegant beauties of each day's ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life. The happiest people I know are not those that find their golden ticket. They are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover & treasure the beauty & sweetness of every day moments."
"You are not forgotten."
"No matter how dark your days may seem; No matter how insignificant you may feel; No matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love. Just think of it--you are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious being in the universe. You are loved by the King of infinite space & everlasting time. He who created & knows the stars knows you and your name. You are the daughters of his kingdom."
"God loves you, sisters, because you are his child. He loves you even though at times you may feel lonely & make mistakes. The love of God & the power of the restored gospel are redemptive & saving. If you will only allow his divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, & soften any sorrow."
I love that he says that it can soften any sorrow. He didn't say "it will end every sorrow." He said it can "soften any sorrow." I am grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel & the love of Christ. I'm grateful that I know I am a daughter of my loving Heavenly Father, and that He knows me personally. I am grateful that I am loved, when I am so far from deserving of His love.
I love this church. I love the principles I am taught, the feelings I have, the growth I have experienced, & the strength I have received because I choose to live according to the Gospel.
Good weekend.
I promise I will get back to blogging tomorrow, instead of going on and on about a talk, but my goodness, I loved it.
XO.
president uchtdorf's talk [9.25.11]
Ok, I know I said "a talk a day" but today I was feeling super crappy so I slept/did homework all day and never got around to it.
But! The Relief Society [women's group] had General Conference talks just for us tonight & so I went to watch them with a bunch of girls from my singles ward. & holy-amazing-talk by President Uchtdorf.
I know I just said that nothing would ever pass Come What May & Love It, but... it might have.
It basically summed up the past 2 years of my life, for me. It reminded me of who I am. & why. It gave me hope and strength and just gave me so much perspective.
I don't want to stay up forever blogging about it, and they don't have it typed up on the Internet, so I can't share all of the awesome quotes from it quite yet. So I'm just going to write down the one quote that I loved the absolute most, & a few general thoughts, & I will come back to writing about it later. :)
"You are not forgotten."
That might not seem powerful. I realize that.
But in the context, it spoke straight to me. So much was lifted off of my heart tonight. So much relief from stress and from life was given, through those simple words. Simply to be reminded that He knows, and He has not forgotten me.
Pres. Uchtdorf talked first about being patient with ourselves, and not comparing my flaws or weaknesses to others' strengths. He said something very similar to [although I didn't get the exact quote...] "God notices each of your small triumphs, and they are not small to Him." He talked about how we strive for perfection, and he said, "It's okay that you're not there yet." [This talk is proof that God knows what has been on my mind lately. Seriously.]
He reminded us to devote our time and energy to those things that matter most. He said that we can't sit around waiting for our "Golden Tickets" forever. He said that it's okay to want things and to have righteous desires, as long as you're not too wrapped up in them--as long as you still find the beauty in the now.
Perhaps my favorite part was what he said was the Forget-Me-Not of the Why? of the Gospel. He reminded us that this Gospel isn't just a checklist or a list of tasks to complete. He reminded us it's not just something we are to squeeze in on the weekends. That it is not an obligation, but a pathway and a choice. He said how remembering why we have the Gospel and why it is important to us is what "transforms mundane into magnificent." I think there are definitely times when I go through the motions and I could be doing so much more to grow--when I just am stuck in a rut. & I needed to be reminded to ask myself why. The why of the Gospel is what made things click for me, what helped me on my path to baptism, and what has kept me together since then.
& finally, he said those words.
"You are not forgotten."
To be honest, there are days that is very difficult to remember that He has not forgotten me. In a faith that revolves so much around family, it can be difficult for a young single woman, who is the only member of her family. At times it's hard not to envy what others have, and I forget to see how it has blessed me to be so independent & to have to rely fully on myself & the Lord. I forget to remember how much I have, and only see what I lack.
& yes, I have made my sacrifices and I have made my choices, and it has been amazing. It has been the best journey. But sometimes I just want a break. Sometimes I want the time to catch my breath and to just breath for a few minutes. Sometimes I just want people to understand my exhaustion. & while I'm not certain they do, or will, I know that He does. I was reminded of that tonight.
I can't tell you how strongly I felt that those words--"You are not forgotten"-- were meant especially for me tonight. I can't tell you how much that meant. I know that He knows my heart. I know that He gets me--that He not only hears me and knows me, but truly understands my deepest thoughts and desires. I know that He allows me to go through those things in order to grow & to come closer to Him.
I'm so grateful for my trials & flaws. I'm so grateful that He wants me to grow, & to return to Him someday.
I'm so grateful for the leaders of the Church. I'm grateful that they live righteous lives, & choose to devote their lives to the Gospel. I'm grateful for President Uchtdorf & the words he shared with us tonight.
Before each conference, I am told over and over, "One talk will be meant just for you--you'll feel it" etc. I found mine tonight. & I could not be more at ease with life.
I'm finished rambling now. :) Love.
But! The Relief Society [women's group] had General Conference talks just for us tonight & so I went to watch them with a bunch of girls from my singles ward. & holy-amazing-talk by President Uchtdorf.
I know I just said that nothing would ever pass Come What May & Love It, but... it might have.
It basically summed up the past 2 years of my life, for me. It reminded me of who I am. & why. It gave me hope and strength and just gave me so much perspective.
I don't want to stay up forever blogging about it, and they don't have it typed up on the Internet, so I can't share all of the awesome quotes from it quite yet. So I'm just going to write down the one quote that I loved the absolute most, & a few general thoughts, & I will come back to writing about it later. :)
"You are not forgotten."
That might not seem powerful. I realize that.
But in the context, it spoke straight to me. So much was lifted off of my heart tonight. So much relief from stress and from life was given, through those simple words. Simply to be reminded that He knows, and He has not forgotten me.
Pres. Uchtdorf talked first about being patient with ourselves, and not comparing my flaws or weaknesses to others' strengths. He said something very similar to [although I didn't get the exact quote...] "God notices each of your small triumphs, and they are not small to Him." He talked about how we strive for perfection, and he said, "It's okay that you're not there yet." [This talk is proof that God knows what has been on my mind lately. Seriously.]
He reminded us to devote our time and energy to those things that matter most. He said that we can't sit around waiting for our "Golden Tickets" forever. He said that it's okay to want things and to have righteous desires, as long as you're not too wrapped up in them--as long as you still find the beauty in the now.
Perhaps my favorite part was what he said was the Forget-Me-Not of the Why? of the Gospel. He reminded us that this Gospel isn't just a checklist or a list of tasks to complete. He reminded us it's not just something we are to squeeze in on the weekends. That it is not an obligation, but a pathway and a choice. He said how remembering why we have the Gospel and why it is important to us is what "transforms mundane into magnificent." I think there are definitely times when I go through the motions and I could be doing so much more to grow--when I just am stuck in a rut. & I needed to be reminded to ask myself why. The why of the Gospel is what made things click for me, what helped me on my path to baptism, and what has kept me together since then.
& finally, he said those words.
"You are not forgotten."
To be honest, there are days that is very difficult to remember that He has not forgotten me. In a faith that revolves so much around family, it can be difficult for a young single woman, who is the only member of her family. At times it's hard not to envy what others have, and I forget to see how it has blessed me to be so independent & to have to rely fully on myself & the Lord. I forget to remember how much I have, and only see what I lack.
& yes, I have made my sacrifices and I have made my choices, and it has been amazing. It has been the best journey. But sometimes I just want a break. Sometimes I want the time to catch my breath and to just breath for a few minutes. Sometimes I just want people to understand my exhaustion. & while I'm not certain they do, or will, I know that He does. I was reminded of that tonight.
I can't tell you how strongly I felt that those words--"You are not forgotten"-- were meant especially for me tonight. I can't tell you how much that meant. I know that He knows my heart. I know that He gets me--that He not only hears me and knows me, but truly understands my deepest thoughts and desires. I know that He allows me to go through those things in order to grow & to come closer to Him.
I'm so grateful for my trials & flaws. I'm so grateful that He wants me to grow, & to return to Him someday.
I'm so grateful for the leaders of the Church. I'm grateful that they live righteous lives, & choose to devote their lives to the Gospel. I'm grateful for President Uchtdorf & the words he shared with us tonight.
Before each conference, I am told over and over, "One talk will be meant just for you--you'll feel it" etc. I found mine tonight. & I could not be more at ease with life.
I'm finished rambling now. :) Love.
9.23.2011
general conference! /// {come what may & love it.}
Come what may & love it.
anyone who's been in my room may have noticed this statement scrawled pretty much everywhere. my mirror. my bulletin board. my dry erase planner.
it's my favorite.
it's from a talk by joseph b. wirthlin in the october 2008 general conference. [don't know what general conference is? click here.] it is my absolute favorite talk ever, and i'm pretty positive it always will be. it is about taking what you have and accepting it as the Lord's plan, and loving it--even if it's not what you think you want at the time. this seems to be a pretty constant struggle for me, so to have this talk to constantly refer back to is such a blessing.
i'll post just a couple of my favorite quotes from it. & then the link to the text & the video of it!
enjoy. :)
[ps--expect a talk a day, leading up to general conference. i'm listening to a bunch of old ones & it's getting me super pumped for this year's gc to come around--sat. & sun., oct. 1-2.]
She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted.
When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life.
“Joseph,” she said, “come what may, and love it.”
The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.
Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.
Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail:
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”
With that eternal perspective, Joseph took comfort from these words, and so can we. Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.
I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it. As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, “Come what may, and love it.”
http://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVNYhcYEwIE
anyone who's been in my room may have noticed this statement scrawled pretty much everywhere. my mirror. my bulletin board. my dry erase planner.
it's my favorite.
it's from a talk by joseph b. wirthlin in the october 2008 general conference. [don't know what general conference is? click here.] it is my absolute favorite talk ever, and i'm pretty positive it always will be. it is about taking what you have and accepting it as the Lord's plan, and loving it--even if it's not what you think you want at the time. this seems to be a pretty constant struggle for me, so to have this talk to constantly refer back to is such a blessing.
i'll post just a couple of my favorite quotes from it. & then the link to the text & the video of it!
enjoy. :)
[ps--expect a talk a day, leading up to general conference. i'm listening to a bunch of old ones & it's getting me super pumped for this year's gc to come around--sat. & sun., oct. 1-2.]
She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted.
When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life.
“Joseph,” she said, “come what may, and love it.”
The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.
Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.
Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail:
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”
With that eternal perspective, Joseph took comfort from these words, and so can we. Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.
I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it. As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, “Come what may, and love it.”
http://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVNYhcYEwIE
9.21.2011
heavy [2]
& some weeks, i feel like i get it--i understand a tiny portion of the frustrations he must have had with me. spending months going over the same material, praying and reading, reading and praying. sharing his testimony over and over. telling me to do what i felt was right.
& all of this at a young age--twenty years old & trying to handle every question and fear of worrywart-me, on top of every other investigator.
& i took my sweet time. i made my share of less-than-great decisions. i hesitated. i waited and put things off and found every reason not to do what, in my heart, i knew was right. & you know what? he loved me anyway. he loved me on my good days, & he loved me harder on my worst, when i really needed it. he learned the difference between when i needed soft & gentle out-loud prayers, & when i needed tough love. he knew me inside out and in so many ways shaped my faith and helped me build my own testimony.
& he did that in a very real way.
but sometimes i feel like i've been doing that for over a year, in a tiny way. & while it's tiny, it makes my heart ache--it makes me literally ache for that little light to go off & for that happy ending i've been craving for so freakin' long. & to be honest, at times i'm exhausted.
i wrote a blogpost a while back about tolerance. & i meant every word.
sometimes it gets old to be tolerated. some days i just want you to freakin' get it--to know that i'm tired. to understand that i will keep living what i believe, and that nothing you do or say changes that. that i will keep praying and hoping, hoping and praying, for you, but that that doesn't mean i'm not completely freakin' frustrated with you. i love you, but my goodness, get it together.
some days it gets old to hear how i'm going to "be a light" or how i'm a "pioneer." if they don't see, does that mean i wasn't bright enough?
& i guess maybe that's how he felt, when he was teaching me the same exact lessons for the umpteenth time, or when he was re-explaining something, or when he had to tell me not to read anti- sites, or when i would argue every little thing, or when i would decide i was over it & i didn't care.
& that only makes me love him more than i already did.
& i guess that, in a bigger way, that is how He feels, every time we make choices we shouldn't. that is how He feels when He sees what we've turned this world into and how corrupt we really are becoming.
that comforts me, knowing that He knows my heart and he knows when it aches and when it rejoices, and everything in between. that makes me remember why i live the way i do, and why i'm here, in this place, at this time. it reminds me of my purpose.
i know that we are given people who will love us to pieces when we least deserve it. he was mine, without a doubt. & i hope that, at least on some level, i am theirs.
love, not tolerance.
& all of this at a young age--twenty years old & trying to handle every question and fear of worrywart-me, on top of every other investigator.
& i took my sweet time. i made my share of less-than-great decisions. i hesitated. i waited and put things off and found every reason not to do what, in my heart, i knew was right. & you know what? he loved me anyway. he loved me on my good days, & he loved me harder on my worst, when i really needed it. he learned the difference between when i needed soft & gentle out-loud prayers, & when i needed tough love. he knew me inside out and in so many ways shaped my faith and helped me build my own testimony.
& he did that in a very real way.
but sometimes i feel like i've been doing that for over a year, in a tiny way. & while it's tiny, it makes my heart ache--it makes me literally ache for that little light to go off & for that happy ending i've been craving for so freakin' long. & to be honest, at times i'm exhausted.
i wrote a blogpost a while back about tolerance. & i meant every word.
sometimes it gets old to be tolerated. some days i just want you to freakin' get it--to know that i'm tired. to understand that i will keep living what i believe, and that nothing you do or say changes that. that i will keep praying and hoping, hoping and praying, for you, but that that doesn't mean i'm not completely freakin' frustrated with you. i love you, but my goodness, get it together.
some days it gets old to hear how i'm going to "be a light" or how i'm a "pioneer." if they don't see, does that mean i wasn't bright enough?
& i guess maybe that's how he felt, when he was teaching me the same exact lessons for the umpteenth time, or when he was re-explaining something, or when he had to tell me not to read anti- sites, or when i would argue every little thing, or when i would decide i was over it & i didn't care.
& that only makes me love him more than i already did.
& i guess that, in a bigger way, that is how He feels, every time we make choices we shouldn't. that is how He feels when He sees what we've turned this world into and how corrupt we really are becoming.
that comforts me, knowing that He knows my heart and he knows when it aches and when it rejoices, and everything in between. that makes me remember why i live the way i do, and why i'm here, in this place, at this time. it reminds me of my purpose.
i know that we are given people who will love us to pieces when we least deserve it. he was mine, without a doubt. & i hope that, at least on some level, i am theirs.
love, not tolerance.
9.17.2011
long distance relationship
i'm in a long distance relationship. with my bestest fran.
so basically, today i'm freakin' missing her face. & since we're boyfran&girlfran this is totally acceptable. ;)
top eleven things i love about casssss. [it was going to be ten, but i accidentally thought of eleven.]
so basically, today i'm freakin' missing her face. & since we're boyfran&girlfran this is totally acceptable. ;)
top eleven things i love about casssss. [it was going to be ten, but i accidentally thought of eleven.]
11. She's the best spooning/snuggling partner in the world. Legit.
10. She always remembers to call me and tell me everything about her life.
9. & she only yells a little when I'm a slacker & forget to inform her about my life, which tends to change a lot...
8. She listens to me blubber in the middle of the night about stupid boys, & tells me I'm better than them, & that they're buttfaces. We are very good at reminding eachother that boys are all prettymuch idiots, & that we're prettyprettyprincesses, who deserve the best boys in the whole world. & until we find them, we're totally content being secret-lovers.
7. & she listens to me gush about liking someone. Yeah, I'm one of those girls.
6. She dresses cuter than anyone I know. Basically, I have a hot best friend.
5. She's hilarious. I have the funniest conversations with her. ["marijuannnnna!!!" "pendelums" etc.]
4. She is nice to absolutely everyone. & would do anything for anyone. & never ever judges anyone. [Ok, she's perfect.]
3. If I were a boy and/or lesbian, I'd marry her in 2.4 seconds flat.
2. She's the BEST example in the whole world for me. She pretty much taught me "How to be a Mormon." & let me call her with a thousand questions a minute for the past couple of years. [Cass, remember when I was learning about modesty?? & called you for "the" conversation?? Hahahaha.]
1. She's the definition of fun. Seriously.
9.08.2011
facts.
--the only thing i really took away from one of my relationships (i won't mention names...) was a new favorite type of salsa. harsh, but true.
--i like daisies.
--i start every day with a dr pepper.
--i want to adopt. i want to do foster care. i want to do something.
--i would say "semi-serious" was a bit of an exaggeration. more like "having fun."
--i hate bugs. i would rather find a snake than a bug.
--i need to get employed. broke doesn't even begin to describe me...
--i have two assignments due at 2. and class until 11:50. & i'm blogging. awesome.
--i feel that boys should not be turned on by two inches of my lower thigh. & if they are, i don't think it's my responsibility to cover up. i feel it's theirs to not be horny messes. just sayin...
--i count down days to weekends, every week.
--i would rather be on the beach. i miss salt water.
--i bought this awesome dry erase calendar/cork board/note board thing. so far it's only been used to hang wedding invites & my fortunes from my fortune cookies. A+ student, right there.
--when you come to my blog, i can see the locations of where people are viewing it from. & it made me laugh out loud that you're creepin'. over you, sweetheart. & i suggest you do the same...
--i like daisies.
--i start every day with a dr pepper.
--i want to adopt. i want to do foster care. i want to do something.
--i would say "semi-serious" was a bit of an exaggeration. more like "having fun."
--i hate bugs. i would rather find a snake than a bug.
--i need to get employed. broke doesn't even begin to describe me...
--i have two assignments due at 2. and class until 11:50. & i'm blogging. awesome.
--i feel that boys should not be turned on by two inches of my lower thigh. & if they are, i don't think it's my responsibility to cover up. i feel it's theirs to not be horny messes. just sayin...
--i count down days to weekends, every week.
--i would rather be on the beach. i miss salt water.
--i bought this awesome dry erase calendar/cork board/note board thing. so far it's only been used to hang wedding invites & my fortunes from my fortune cookies. A+ student, right there.
--when you come to my blog, i can see the locations of where people are viewing it from. & it made me laugh out loud that you're creepin'. over you, sweetheart. & i suggest you do the same...
9.07.2011
dear kearney.
dear kearney,
i freakin hate you and your crickets that keep me up all night. & the fact that you train your crickets to be ninjas so i can't find & kill them.
i also freakin' hate your 7-something am firedrills. not all of us have class at 8. i'd rather burn with the building than get out of bed. and i'm not even kidding. whoever planned that thing can suck it.
also, please make your internet faster so i can watch more of teen mom, and less buffering. this is urgent.
i hope your week is as sh*tty as mine. kay thanks.
alison
i freakin hate you and your crickets that keep me up all night. & the fact that you train your crickets to be ninjas so i can't find & kill them.
i also freakin' hate your 7-something am firedrills. not all of us have class at 8. i'd rather burn with the building than get out of bed. and i'm not even kidding. whoever planned that thing can suck it.
also, please make your internet faster so i can watch more of teen mom, and less buffering. this is urgent.
i hope your week is as sh*tty as mine. kay thanks.
alison
9.06.2011
awkward/awesome.
[awkward]
--boys. there's really nothing else to say.
--when your professor says "balls" at least twenty times, talking about your art project. and you're the only one fighting back laughter. [ex: he said "and if i were an elementary teacher, i would say 'now students... keep your balls to yourself.'"] {in my defense, he later said "i can't believe you all kept a straight face that entire time."}
--when you go on a team up with the missionaries, and they tell the investigator about how Christ loved them enough to die, and how that is such a strong bond. & all i can think of is lily & harry potter, & how then voldemort couldn't get hp... & then i realize i'm definitely going to hell. no doubt.
--when your professor [same one as last week] keeps you after class, to talk about your love life...
--the picture on my driver's license. ew. it's pretty nasty... as in, i'm too embarassed to show my id anywhere.
--deciding [& admitting] that you would prefer to be a catlady. it's no longer a last resort.
--my sister informing me all of the events coming up that i'll need a boyfriend for. & my family deciding i need to get "random boys of the week". [& kindof agreeing. whoops. hahaha.]
[awesome]
--three day weekends!!
--being twenty one.
--getting real food all weekend.
--getting a pedi. & having an appointment to get nails done today. loveee.
--four day school week :)
--remembering to do my discussion board, for once.
--my grades. they're pretty bomb right now.
--mormon.org. check it out. [& if you search "alison nebraska" you'll see my hotness. welcome.]
--boys. there's really nothing else to say.
--when your professor says "balls" at least twenty times, talking about your art project. and you're the only one fighting back laughter. [ex: he said "and if i were an elementary teacher, i would say 'now students... keep your balls to yourself.'"] {in my defense, he later said "i can't believe you all kept a straight face that entire time."}
--when you go on a team up with the missionaries, and they tell the investigator about how Christ loved them enough to die, and how that is such a strong bond. & all i can think of is lily & harry potter, & how then voldemort couldn't get hp... & then i realize i'm definitely going to hell. no doubt.
--when your professor [same one as last week] keeps you after class, to talk about your love life...
--the picture on my driver's license. ew. it's pretty nasty... as in, i'm too embarassed to show my id anywhere.
--deciding [& admitting] that you would prefer to be a catlady. it's no longer a last resort.
--my sister informing me all of the events coming up that i'll need a boyfriend for. & my family deciding i need to get "random boys of the week". [& kindof agreeing. whoops. hahaha.]
[awesome]
--three day weekends!!
--being twenty one.
--getting real food all weekend.
--getting a pedi. & having an appointment to get nails done today. loveee.
--four day school week :)
--remembering to do my discussion board, for once.
--my grades. they're pretty bomb right now.
--mormon.org. check it out. [& if you search "alison nebraska" you'll see my hotness. welcome.]
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