i have a little less than an hour until my anticipated linguistics test. so clearly, i should be cramming every little piece of information inside of my brain that i can. and yet... i'm trying to clear my head of all my other thoughts so that [hopefully... this is my logic anyway] when i actually take the test, i'll be able to remember everything and ace it! :)
okay, okay. wishful thinking. but really, i've studied my tail off! [although i studied my tail off for that science test too. frick.]
anyway, i don't mean to make it sound like i hate my classes. really, i don't. i just... have no love for them. the only class i love is chinese. so... basically i should switch my major to chinese, and then i wouldn't even have to take the [stupid, scary] praxis tonight.
i am not a test person. i'm just not. it's like asking me to speak, when everyone is silent and staring at me. it just doesn't work out well. someone recently told me i'm way too anxious and i seriously think they're right. it is not normal to get this nervous over the smallest things. i need to get that under control, hahaha.
anyway, like i was saying before i got distracted by twelve other things. i don't hate my classes necessarily. although i truly have a hatred for that stupid science course. four days a week?! eugh. and i swear he speaks a different language, because i never have any idea what in the heck he is talking about. so then i think "i'll read the chapter and then i'll understand." ehh, nope. the book also speaks the professor's language. did i miss a language prereq, or what?!

linguistics=interesting. but hard as heck. and fast-paced.
science=worse than hell.
chinese=love. and i lovelovelove my teacher. she's the sweetest lady ever.
esl methods=[i actually have no idea the name of this course. that's probably a bad sign.] pointless. every week, i show up with the homework assignment he gave us the previous week. do you want to know how many he's picked up? zero. all we do is watch videos. and sometimes he'll tell us about how his daughter is meeting boys online. boys who are twice her age. classy. so what is my grade based on? your guess is as good as mine.
dance class=at eight in the morning. i am not in the mood to be around happy, bubbly personalities telling me to "get down" at eight in the morning. i don't wanna shake it, lady. i just don't. it was the longest half-semester class ever. it goes in the same category as my science class.

so today, i have that test, then come back and do my chinese homework, then go to chinese class, then come back and do some quick laundry, pack, and load up my car, then a meeting to make people wanna go to china [haha], and lastly the dreaded [dun dun dunnnnn...] praxis. and then SPRING BREAK! hallelujah.
everyone keeps saying the praxis is easier than the act. which i rocked.
but, let's be logical, here... i took the act when i was in pre-calc. i haven't been in math for two years, now. basically three, actually, since i wasn't exactly studious my senior year. [my math class was my time to eat cookie dough/do other homework.] i took the act when i had mrs. altig, who is seriously the queen of grammar. i haven't taken english since last summer, if you can even count that crappy online course as taking an english class. i don't feel like i've taken english since my senior year, if you count classes i actually learned from.
so... i'm scared. i don't feel equipped to pass a test. and i am not the type of person that merely passes. i want to get a high score, even though it really doesn't matter.
basically, what my life comes down to is this: i'm a freakin' perfectionist. i am not satisfied with getting b's. i am not okay with missing any points, actually. i want to get 100% on everything. sometimes i'll catch myself frowning at a freakin' 92% and then i'll be like, "uhh, wait. that's an a-. normal people would be happy with that." pretty much, i'm a nutcase. this head needs to be checked out.
and with all of that being said and ranted about and rambled about, i'm now going to go take this test, and my goodness, i'd better do freakin' good. bahahaha.
only a few more things [all bunched together in a tiny time frame] until spring breeeeeak. [and for the record, i've never needed a break more. holy cow.]