I'm re-blogging this entire thing. I have been re-reading my own blog tonight [I swear I'm not "self absorbed", I just like to remember where I come from, and how I'm growing.] & this one stood out to me.
"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need moregoodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.
Oh, how we pray that every young woman will grow up to be all the wonderful things she is meant to be. We pray that her mother and father will show her the right way. May daughters of God honor the priesthood and sustain worthy priesthood holders. May they understand their own great capacity for strength in the timeless virtues that some would scoff at in a modern, liberated world for women."
--Margaret D. Nadauld
I just read this talk & it is amazing [note: it's so good that I mean that "amazing" as "uh-may-ziiiiing"]. I'm sitting in my room, totally overwhelmed. But not in that Alison-can't-breathe-and-is-a-hot-mess type of way. More of the Alison-is-completely-content-to-the-point-where-her-chest-might-burst type of way. [Bear with me, here. I swear I'm going to try to make sense.]
"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender."
Oh, my goodness, if you only knew how badly I needed to hear that. I've been sooo back and forth lately. You have no idea. My life's a rollercoaster, and I am apparantly suuuuper sensitive to motion sickness. [Terrible analogy, I know.] I've pretty much been the can't-breathe-and-is-a-hot-mess version of me that I was telling you about. For no particular reason, really.
I think a main thing I struggle with admitting is that in the past couple of years I went from being strong and tough to a total softy. & I've fought every second of this lovey version of myself. Really. I have.
But I think I needed to hear that loving and caring and being tender is not only "okay" or "fine," but wonderful. That there are enough tough women, and that maybe what the world needs more than anything from me is love. I can handle that. I love love! Maybe it's not so important that I be this rock and be tough 24/7. Maybe I just need to be real. Maybe I just need to show His love and joy in my life to those around me every single day.
Answers come. The more I questioned myself and what I wanted and who I was, the more confused I got. But I want those things: to be tender, kind, refined, virtuous, pure, and to have faith. And tonight I was reminded of how important those things are to me, how much my soul truly aches to "grow up to be all the wonderful things I am meant to be."
I love the gospel.
How often do I take the time to say that? Not enough, I can tell you that much. But I do, with all of my heart, and then some.
I worry that people don't know what I believe because so much of me is still this sarcastic, sass-a-frass girl, with a thousand opinions a minute and a giant attitude. I'm rarely shy with my thoughts [& if I am you should be extra worried, because they will all come out at once, soon and very soon ;)]. I tend to say things exactly how I see them. I feel like, at times, Little Miss Sassy [aka me] gets in the way of people seeing how much I truly do love this gospel and want to live it every single day.
I truly, deeply love the truth and happiness my experiences this past year have brought me. I am so grateful for all of the changes I have made in my life. & I know that, no matter what I do, He loves me so much more than I can even imagine.
How blessed am I?!
One last thought, which also comes straight from this talk:
"Where much is given, much is required. Our Heavenly Father asks His daughters to walk in virtue, to live in righteousness so that we can fulfill our life’s mission and His purposes. He wants us to be successful, and He will help us as we seek His help."
Where much is given, much is required. How much clearer could that be?!
Life is so good. We just hang in there, and give it our best, and He'll take care of the rest.
This is probably the worst time to throw a movie reference out there, but you know I'm all about the movie references. So please excuse me. :)
You know on Hitch, where Hitch is teaching the guy to kiss, and he tells the guy that he has to go 90%, and then the girl will go 10%?
Well, I think that it's pretty much like that, except I'm not kissing Jesus.
I go as far as I can go [with Him beside me every step of the way] and when I think I can't go any further, I push just a little further, and when I truly can't drag myself along any more, He'll pick up the slack. He'll always do what I can't. How amazing is that?!
So sometimes, maybe I'll only do 30% of the work, but if I'm putting 110% of my energy and effort into that, He loves me enough to do the other 70%.
God is good. Life is good.
[I know I am totally being preachy, but this was all racing around in my head and I had to get it out there. So excuse my messiness in telling you all of this and the fact that I used a movie reference about kissing to relate my relationship with Christ to you, but... It's me. You can only expect so much. :)]
"He wants us to be successful, and He will help us as we seek His help."
tender...kind...refined...faith...goodness...virtue...purity
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