“But no matter how high the stakes, sooner or later, you’re just going to have to go with your gut, and, maybe just maybe, that’ll take you right where you were meant to be in the first place.”
It's time to trust. Time to hang on tight, & trust that those glances are what you think they are. Time to trust every hint. Time to support & be patient. Time to pray like crazy.
I think it's taken me so long to just say that: I need that prayer.
I need that three minutes, which so often follows, "Wanna baby me?" I appreciate that person & the authority he holds & the way he honors it; I love the way his words to Him flow, & how I feel each time I hear them. I love the sense of peace I find in those couple of minutes.
& right before I shut my eyes for the night, I need that time on my knees. I need to say what I'm grateful for & blurt out every thought I'm not saying to anyone else; every word I can't express without having to explain myself. I love that I don't need to explain my feelings to Him, and that I can ramble & mumble & make no sense, & He still gets me. I need that time each day to serve as a reminder that He's my Father, but more importantly He is my friend & my confidant.
I finally cracked, today. Cried for absolutely no reason like six times. & each time thought, "This isn't a big deal, Alison, pull yourself together."
But sometimes, it's nice just to be able to fall apart a little & spill your guts to Him. I like that in my heart I know that He doesn't care if it's 'not a big deal.' He cares that I'm upset, and to me, that is the most precious relationship. Someone who knows my heart so completely, & loves me despite of each imperfection.
I am so blessed. So loved. So treasured, by the One who put me here.
& while I don't always know why here, why now, why this... It doesn't matter. Because there is a plan, & all I really need is the faith to keep my chin up and keep walking forward. <3
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