Ok, I know I said "a talk a day" but today I was feeling super crappy so I slept/did homework all day and never got around to it.
But! The Relief Society [women's group] had General Conference talks just for us tonight & so I went to watch them with a bunch of girls from my singles ward. & holy-amazing-talk by President Uchtdorf.
I know I just said that nothing would ever pass Come What May & Love It, but... it might have.
It basically summed up the past 2 years of my life, for me. It reminded me of who I am. & why. It gave me hope and strength and just gave me so much perspective.
I don't want to stay up forever blogging about it, and they don't have it typed up on the Internet, so I can't share all of the awesome quotes from it quite yet. So I'm just going to write down the one quote that I loved the absolute most, & a few general thoughts, & I will come back to writing about it later. :)
"You are not forgotten."
That might not seem powerful. I realize that.
But in the context, it spoke straight to me. So much was lifted off of my heart tonight. So much relief from stress and from life was given, through those simple words. Simply to be reminded that He knows, and He has not forgotten me.
Pres. Uchtdorf talked first about being patient with ourselves, and not comparing my flaws or weaknesses to others' strengths. He said something very similar to [although I didn't get the exact quote...] "God notices each of your small triumphs, and they are not small to Him." He talked about how we strive for perfection, and he said, "It's okay that you're not there yet." [This talk is proof that God knows what has been on my mind lately. Seriously.]
He reminded us to devote our time and energy to those things that matter most. He said that we can't sit around waiting for our "Golden Tickets" forever. He said that it's okay to want things and to have righteous desires, as long as you're not too wrapped up in them--as long as you still find the beauty in the now.
Perhaps my favorite part was what he said was the Forget-Me-Not of the Why? of the Gospel. He reminded us that this Gospel isn't just a checklist or a list of tasks to complete. He reminded us it's not just something we are to squeeze in on the weekends. That it is not an obligation, but a pathway and a choice. He said how remembering why we have the Gospel and why it is important to us is what "transforms mundane into magnificent." I think there are definitely times when I go through the motions and I could be doing so much more to grow--when I just am stuck in a rut. & I needed to be reminded to ask myself why. The why of the Gospel is what made things click for me, what helped me on my path to baptism, and what has kept me together since then.
& finally, he said those words.
"You are not forgotten."
To be honest, there are days that is very difficult to remember that He has not forgotten me. In a faith that revolves so much around family, it can be difficult for a young single woman, who is the only member of her family. At times it's hard not to envy what others have, and I forget to see how it has blessed me to be so independent & to have to rely fully on myself & the Lord. I forget to remember how much I have, and only see what I lack.
& yes, I have made my sacrifices and I have made my choices, and it has been amazing. It has been the best journey. But sometimes I just want a break. Sometimes I want the time to catch my breath and to just breath for a few minutes. Sometimes I just want people to understand my exhaustion. & while I'm not certain they do, or will, I know that He does. I was reminded of that tonight.
I can't tell you how strongly I felt that those words--"You are not forgotten"-- were meant especially for me tonight. I can't tell you how much that meant. I know that He knows my heart. I know that He gets me--that He not only hears me and knows me, but truly understands my deepest thoughts and desires. I know that He allows me to go through those things in order to grow & to come closer to Him.
I'm so grateful for my trials & flaws. I'm so grateful that He wants me to grow, & to return to Him someday.
I'm so grateful for the leaders of the Church. I'm grateful that they live righteous lives, & choose to devote their lives to the Gospel. I'm grateful for President Uchtdorf & the words he shared with us tonight.
Before each conference, I am told over and over, "One talk will be meant just for you--you'll feel it" etc. I found mine tonight. & I could not be more at ease with life.
I'm finished rambling now. :) Love.
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